Anxiety Reduction for Autistics
A framework and practical techniques to reduce the impact of anxiety on your day-to-day life, that actually work for Autistic and AuDHD humans.
Write your awesome label here.
4 Live meetings
90 minutes each.
PLUS
Bonus practice session for signing up before April 21st.
Bonus practice session for signing up before April 21st.
When
May 23 - June 13
Fridays
12 PM PDT
3 PM EDT
9 PM BST
10 PM CEST
6 AM (Sat) AEST
Fridays
12 PM PDT
3 PM EDT
9 PM BST
10 PM CEST
6 AM (Sat) AEST
Recorded
Video, audio, and human-edited transcripts.
Course Outline
I've been there
There was a time, not too many years ago, when anxiety was my constant companion, nay-sayer, punisher, and fear monger.
I would spend weeks dreading a phone call I had to make.
I'd put off replying to emails for so long that it got extra weird to reply, and the anxiety compounded.
I'd start projects, and get stuck at all the things that needed to happen in order to make progress, and get overwhelmed, shut down, and emotionally beat myself up about it. And then get irritable, and say the wrong thing to someone, and have something else to ruminate about.
Things that other people consider simple, like cooking, cleaning up, making an appointment, or deciding whether I wanted to go to an event with people (and how), felt so overwhelming, and even thinking about them triggered so much anxiety I'd often do something else instead...or shut down.
I'd avoid grocery shopping until my kitchen looked like Mother Hubbard's cupboards.
When I had something scheduled, like an appointment, or a repair tech coming over, or a package to be delivered, I would spend all day on tenterhooks, waiting for that time, unable to do anything else, even when it was hours away.
I would spend weeks dreading a phone call I had to make.
I'd put off replying to emails for so long that it got extra weird to reply, and the anxiety compounded.
I'd start projects, and get stuck at all the things that needed to happen in order to make progress, and get overwhelmed, shut down, and emotionally beat myself up about it. And then get irritable, and say the wrong thing to someone, and have something else to ruminate about.
Things that other people consider simple, like cooking, cleaning up, making an appointment, or deciding whether I wanted to go to an event with people (and how), felt so overwhelming, and even thinking about them triggered so much anxiety I'd often do something else instead...or shut down.
I'd avoid grocery shopping until my kitchen looked like Mother Hubbard's cupboards.
When I had something scheduled, like an appointment, or a repair tech coming over, or a package to be delivered, I would spend all day on tenterhooks, waiting for that time, unable to do anything else, even when it was hours away.
When I was working, I was constantly afraid of what other people were thinking about me. Did I say something wrong? What did that comment mean? Why didn't she ask me about that project? What if she does? What should I say? What are they thinking about me? Am I about to be fired? What if the next round of layoffs gets me, and I can't get another job?
And I'd compare myself endlessly to where I thought I "should" be at that point in my career, to how many different tasks other people could juggle, or how much they made, or how much they could do after work, and wonder what was wrong with me, and why could everyone else manage so much better than I could?
And when I did get praise, it was often because I was ridiculously good at certain things other people found hard, not because I felt like they liked me or wanted me around. So I still felt in danger all the time.
Job hunting was a minefield of anxieties: what if I get into another awful situation? Is it always going to be as bad as my last job? What if I never find a job that will work for my sensory needs? Is that even possible? Am I too old? Is it too late for me? I can't start all over at this point in life.
I wanted to make things better, now that I understood I'm Autistic, and how I worked, but every fleeting desire to do something else, or to make a better life for myself, to get another job, to make anything better, was immediately followed by a barrage of negative thoughts, often about how weak/broken/bad I was, how the world would never work for me, and how it'll never get any better, so what's the point in trying.
I lived like this for so long that I forgot it could be any other way.
And I'd compare myself endlessly to where I thought I "should" be at that point in my career, to how many different tasks other people could juggle, or how much they made, or how much they could do after work, and wonder what was wrong with me, and why could everyone else manage so much better than I could?
And when I did get praise, it was often because I was ridiculously good at certain things other people found hard, not because I felt like they liked me or wanted me around. So I still felt in danger all the time.
Job hunting was a minefield of anxieties: what if I get into another awful situation? Is it always going to be as bad as my last job? What if I never find a job that will work for my sensory needs? Is that even possible? Am I too old? Is it too late for me? I can't start all over at this point in life.
I wanted to make things better, now that I understood I'm Autistic, and how I worked, but every fleeting desire to do something else, or to make a better life for myself, to get another job, to make anything better, was immediately followed by a barrage of negative thoughts, often about how weak/broken/bad I was, how the world would never work for me, and how it'll never get any better, so what's the point in trying.
I lived like this for so long that I forgot it could be any other way.
Even something as supposedly innocent and minor as catching up with a friend (what will they think of me for not being in touch for so long???) would overwhelm me, I'd shutdown, put it off, do something else, or do nothing, or else rant about how the world is screwed up, and then fantasize about moving to a cabin in the woods. Wouldn't that solve everything???
Is this at all familiar to you?
And now, on top of all that, in our current political climate, with everything that's going wrong in the world, there is so much more to provoke anxiety.
And yet, as shocking as this may seem, I'm not all that anxious anymore.
The anxiety isn't gone, but there's not much left, and it's not very strong, and the negative voices aren't very loud, and what is left is very manageable. And I now have the skills to manage it when it does come up.
It took me a long time to get to this point. Gradually, bit by bit, I figured out what worked to really get at the root of it, and to deal with it better.
And I'd like to share with you what worked. So you don't have to reinvent the process on your own. So it won't take nearly as long.
Is this at all familiar to you?
And now, on top of all that, in our current political climate, with everything that's going wrong in the world, there is so much more to provoke anxiety.
And yet, as shocking as this may seem, I'm not all that anxious anymore.
The anxiety isn't gone, but there's not much left, and it's not very strong, and the negative voices aren't very loud, and what is left is very manageable. And I now have the skills to manage it when it does come up.
It took me a long time to get to this point. Gradually, bit by bit, I figured out what worked to really get at the root of it, and to deal with it better.
And I'd like to share with you what worked. So you don't have to reinvent the process on your own. So it won't take nearly as long.
From an Autistic/ADHD perspective, as an AuDHD human who has been through the anxiety minefield.
The alternative
What if you had skills to deal with these kinds of situations when they come up? I won’t promise they will go away forever (let’s be realistic), but I firmly believe (and have experienced) that it is possible to learn how to diffuse them so that they aren’t as intense.
And when they’re not as intense, they’re not as overwhelming.
So your brain will have capacity left over to think other things, like finding useful solutions to the real situations you're dealing with.
In fact, that's entirely reasonable. And possible. Even for your wonderfully Autistic or AuDHD self.
My anxiety is much more manageable now, which means my entire life is much more functional. For example...
I can speak up and ask for clarification when I need it. I can say no when I need to. Or back out of a commitment when that's appropriate.
I can change my mind.
And when they’re not as intense, they’re not as overwhelming.
So your brain will have capacity left over to think other things, like finding useful solutions to the real situations you're dealing with.
In fact, that's entirely reasonable. And possible. Even for your wonderfully Autistic or AuDHD self.
My anxiety is much more manageable now, which means my entire life is much more functional. For example...
I can speak up and ask for clarification when I need it. I can say no when I need to. Or back out of a commitment when that's appropriate.
I can change my mind.
When someone doesn't return an email or text promptly, I don't immediately spiral into assuming they're mad at me and that everything will be awful or awkward from now on, or that our relationship is over.
I can break down tasks into smaller steps, and not get overwhelmed at looking at all the many steps that need to get done, or get stymied by my need to complete everything or else it's not worth doing anything.
When I need to get things done in a short time-frame, even unfamiliar stuff. And I can deal with the anxiety spike that still comes (it's not nearly as bad), and I have the skills to short-circuit it so it's short lived, goes away, and I can actually do the thing.
I can even manage the anxiety that swells up before telling someone I'm Autistic, so I can follow through, when I choose to. And with the anxiety so much lower, my brain can think of better words to say. And I can manage my own reactions to however they react to it.
And when someone criticizes me, or complains, or ghosts me, and I didn't do anything objectively hurtful or bad, I don't go into a negativity spiral like I used to. It's not fun, but it genuinely doesn't hurt me the way it used to. And I know deep down that I'm going to be okay.
The bottom line is that I trust myself and my ability to deal with hard things so much more, and I trust that I'll be okay in life, no matter what happens.
What I'd like to share with you is HOW I got to this point. As an AuDHDer. Interested?
I can break down tasks into smaller steps, and not get overwhelmed at looking at all the many steps that need to get done, or get stymied by my need to complete everything or else it's not worth doing anything.
When I need to get things done in a short time-frame, even unfamiliar stuff. And I can deal with the anxiety spike that still comes (it's not nearly as bad), and I have the skills to short-circuit it so it's short lived, goes away, and I can actually do the thing.
I can even manage the anxiety that swells up before telling someone I'm Autistic, so I can follow through, when I choose to. And with the anxiety so much lower, my brain can think of better words to say. And I can manage my own reactions to however they react to it.
And when someone criticizes me, or complains, or ghosts me, and I didn't do anything objectively hurtful or bad, I don't go into a negativity spiral like I used to. It's not fun, but it genuinely doesn't hurt me the way it used to. And I know deep down that I'm going to be okay.
The bottom line is that I trust myself and my ability to deal with hard things so much more, and I trust that I'll be okay in life, no matter what happens.
What I'd like to share with you is HOW I got to this point. As an AuDHDer. Interested?
People don't understand
Most people just look at what you're doing (or not doing), and they make unkind assumptions.
I'm guessing people have accused you of procrastinating, being a perfectionist, overthinking, or being lazy.
Maybe you've heard this so often, from so many people, you've internalized these messages and have even accused yourself of these things. (I don't believe any of them, by the way.)
And while yes, okay, you aren’t taking action, I don't think its for the reasons people assume.
I'd like to offer a non-judgmental, non-shaming way of looking at what's been going on.
I'm guessing people have accused you of procrastinating, being a perfectionist, overthinking, or being lazy.
Maybe you've heard this so often, from so many people, you've internalized these messages and have even accused yourself of these things. (I don't believe any of them, by the way.)
And while yes, okay, you aren’t taking action, I don't think its for the reasons people assume.
I'd like to offer a non-judgmental, non-shaming way of looking at what's been going on.
Why it’s so damn hard
The way I see it, there is always a legitimate reason you're not doing something.
Sometimes its because you have a history of genuinely bad experiences with situations like these and you’re trying to avoid all the potential pitfalls.
Or else don’t have a clue how to avoid the very real dangers, and it’s so easy to focus on all of those, and everything else that genuinely could go wrong.
And even when you intellectually know that most of those worries probably won’t happen this time, it’s not so easy to turn off the scenes of disaster playing on endless loop in your head, or the clenching in your gut, or to fall asleep with your mind on overdrive.
And the advice to just "let it go" is sooo not helpful. How exactly do you do that???
Sometimes its because you have a history of genuinely bad experiences with situations like these and you’re trying to avoid all the potential pitfalls.
Or else don’t have a clue how to avoid the very real dangers, and it’s so easy to focus on all of those, and everything else that genuinely could go wrong.
And even when you intellectually know that most of those worries probably won’t happen this time, it’s not so easy to turn off the scenes of disaster playing on endless loop in your head, or the clenching in your gut, or to fall asleep with your mind on overdrive.
And the advice to just "let it go" is sooo not helpful. How exactly do you do that???
What you may have tried
Talking yourself out of ruminating doesn’t work.
Forcing yourself to do things only works for a while, then the resistance grows stronger.
"Try harder" is crap advice. You've tried with every ounce of your being. There isn't any energy left.
Tips for procrastination don’t work, because it’s not really that.
Overthinking isn’t combated by thinking your way out (if only!) or just thinking less (hah!).
Reframing anxieties doesn’t get at the real issue when you have so many real experiences of what you’re anxious about coming true.
And allistics just don’t get it.
Forcing yourself to do things only works for a while, then the resistance grows stronger.
"Try harder" is crap advice. You've tried with every ounce of your being. There isn't any energy left.
Tips for procrastination don’t work, because it’s not really that.
Overthinking isn’t combated by thinking your way out (if only!) or just thinking less (hah!).
Reframing anxieties doesn’t get at the real issue when you have so many real experiences of what you’re anxious about coming true.
And allistics just don’t get it.
Can I take a moment to acknowledge that this really is hard. So damn hard.
There. I said it. And it’s true.
But you're NOT broken, or defective, and there's nothing wrong with your brain.
It makes sense to avoid things that have hurt you and might hurt you again.
Also, you're not the only one struggling like this.
There. I said it. And it’s true.
But you're NOT broken, or defective, and there's nothing wrong with your brain.
It makes sense to avoid things that have hurt you and might hurt you again.
Also, you're not the only one struggling like this.
"One major takeaway is how widely applicable this framework for anxiety is, it's awesome.
Before, I would maybe use a grounding technique for one type of anxiety, and try to think myself out of another kind of anxiety. But with these skills, I can work on any anxiety, anywhere, at anytime.
Before, I was overwhelmed by my emotions a lot and couldn't figure out why a lot of the time. But now I have skills to try and understand the thing that's upsetting me, and understanding it already is making me start to feel better. Now, I just have to practice the techniques to handle the painful thoughts I've found, and I look forward to getting better at that part." :)
Before, I would maybe use a grounding technique for one type of anxiety, and try to think myself out of another kind of anxiety. But with these skills, I can work on any anxiety, anywhere, at anytime.
Before, I was overwhelmed by my emotions a lot and couldn't figure out why a lot of the time. But now I have skills to try and understand the thing that's upsetting me, and understanding it already is making me start to feel better. Now, I just have to practice the techniques to handle the painful thoughts I've found, and I look forward to getting better at that part." :)
K.M.
How my approach is different
The way I see it, there are two sources of pain.
There's the bad/awful/unwanted things that happen to us. These really do suck, and the pain from them is real. I'm never going to try to say (or imply) that this stuff wasn't as bad as it really was.
And then there's the pain (and it is real pain) that comes from how you think about the bad thing that happened. This is the part I want to address.
But here's where it gets tricky.
There's the bad/awful/unwanted things that happen to us. These really do suck, and the pain from them is real. I'm never going to try to say (or imply) that this stuff wasn't as bad as it really was.
And then there's the pain (and it is real pain) that comes from how you think about the bad thing that happened. This is the part I want to address.
But here's where it gets tricky.
So often, people (well-meaning friends and family, therapists, CBT practitioners, etc.) confuse the two.
And that's where you get gaslit, or told it's just "in your head," or "it would all be better if you just thought about it differently," or other crap like that.
And sometimes it can feel like they're saying that you earned this, or that you deserve it (I don't believe either of those), and that you're the problem, and you just need to fix how you think about it and it'll all be fine (I don't believe any of that, either).
I want to be clear that I'M NOT SAYING THAT.
And that's where you get gaslit, or told it's just "in your head," or "it would all be better if you just thought about it differently," or other crap like that.
And sometimes it can feel like they're saying that you earned this, or that you deserve it (I don't believe either of those), and that you're the problem, and you just need to fix how you think about it and it'll all be fine (I don't believe any of that, either).
I want to be clear that I'M NOT SAYING THAT.
I want to be nuanced about this.
Because I am talking about thoughts, and what I call "thought work," but here's where I part ways with the others.
I make a distinction between the pain of the actual stuff that you've gone through, the actual traumas, the actual health issues, the actual friendship breakups, the abuse, etc...these are real circumstances.
The pain here doesn't come from how you think about it.
This isn't you making anything up.
And then there's another layer, which is how you think about the situation that really did happen. And this can make it feel even worse.
This is also real, genuine pain, but it's created by how we're thinking about it.
This is the part I work with.
Because that extra layer of pain on top of the original painful circumstance is where anxiety comes from.
Plus, it creates more and more stress, and our brains don't respond to that much stress very well, so it becomes harder to deal with the actual circumstances that you need to deal with.
Because I am talking about thoughts, and what I call "thought work," but here's where I part ways with the others.
I make a distinction between the pain of the actual stuff that you've gone through, the actual traumas, the actual health issues, the actual friendship breakups, the abuse, etc...these are real circumstances.
The pain here doesn't come from how you think about it.
This isn't you making anything up.
And then there's another layer, which is how you think about the situation that really did happen. And this can make it feel even worse.
This is also real, genuine pain, but it's created by how we're thinking about it.
This is the part I work with.
Because that extra layer of pain on top of the original painful circumstance is where anxiety comes from.
Plus, it creates more and more stress, and our brains don't respond to that much stress very well, so it becomes harder to deal with the actual circumstances that you need to deal with.
Some more nuance
The tricky part is, that its often hard to tell which is the pain from the external circumstances, and which is about how we're thinking about it.
Because there is at least a little bit of truth in how we're thinking of it. You have genuine experiences that provide evidence that there is some truth in it.
You're not thinking these thoughts for no good reason.
Because there is at least a little bit of truth in how we're thinking of it. You have genuine experiences that provide evidence that there is some truth in it.
You're not thinking these thoughts for no good reason.
If it were entirely false, you would be able to easily prove that and talk yourself out of it. It would be counter to your genuine reality.
And this is where I think a lot of therapists and CBT practitioners and well-meaning people get confused.
It really is hard sometimes to tell which part is true, and which part is the anxiety making it far worse than it needs to be.
But this is what I'm good at. And this is what I'd like to show you how to do.
And then, when you can tell which is which, what do you do with the extra pain?
That's just as important, and I'd love to share several ways to deal with those painful thoughts, too.
And this is where I think a lot of therapists and CBT practitioners and well-meaning people get confused.
It really is hard sometimes to tell which part is true, and which part is the anxiety making it far worse than it needs to be.
But this is what I'm good at. And this is what I'd like to show you how to do.
And then, when you can tell which is which, what do you do with the extra pain?
That's just as important, and I'd love to share several ways to deal with those painful thoughts, too.
"How you explained the dirty versus clean pain, yup, and it makes a lot of the shame and self judgment make sense, and makes me see there are other ways to tackle this issue other than 12 step recovery. Thank you!"
G.R.
What's possible
What if you could figure out what parts are the external, practical sources of pain, and what parts are made worse by how you’re thinking about it, and could toggle between those?
What if you had skills to diffuse these painful thoughts when they come up? I won’t promise they will go away forever (let’s be realistic), but it is possible to learn how to reduce their intensity.
And when they’re not as intense, they’re not as overwhelming.
So your brain will have capacity left over to think other things, and find genuine solutions to those real, practical problems.
That’s when practical anti-anxiety techniques and tricks, like breathing (and I've got a bunch of others), are most helpful, to deal with the leftover anxiety enough that you can put into practice the solutions you’ve figured out.
What if you had skills to diffuse these painful thoughts when they come up? I won’t promise they will go away forever (let’s be realistic), but it is possible to learn how to reduce their intensity.
And when they’re not as intense, they’re not as overwhelming.
So your brain will have capacity left over to think other things, and find genuine solutions to those real, practical problems.
That’s when practical anti-anxiety techniques and tricks, like breathing (and I've got a bunch of others), are most helpful, to deal with the leftover anxiety enough that you can put into practice the solutions you’ve figured out.
As you do, and experience neutral or positive results, over time that will rewire your nervous system to trust that you have new skills and abilities to deal with hard things.
As you deal with more hard things, and learn more skills, and your nervous system trusts that you can do hard things, more and more, the anxieties will gradually fade.
Although worries and fears may always come up, they won’t be paralyzing anymore. Because you'll trust you can deal with them.
Because you can deal with them.
As you deal with more hard things, and learn more skills, and your nervous system trusts that you can do hard things, more and more, the anxieties will gradually fade.
Although worries and fears may always come up, they won’t be paralyzing anymore. Because you'll trust you can deal with them.
Because you can deal with them.
"Heather is a fantastic coach. I recently took her anti-anxiety course and it was ACTUALLY HELPFUL. Heather, thank you so much for all you do for the autistic community - I know I'm not alone when I say that we really appreciate you." ❤️
D.N.
How I know this works
I know this, because I've lived it.
You see, I'm Autistic and ADHD, and struggled with anxiety (and depression, and burnout, and medical stuff, and and and...) for decades.
At times it was so intense that I barely left my house for months or years at a time. The phone taunted me. Having one thing planned in a day (week) meant the whole day (week) was shot. I canceled at the last minute so often that I lost friends, and endangered relationships with others. Work took all my energy and thoughts, until it sapped my strength so much I couldn't work at all.
There were times where it wasn't that bad, where I managed to work or be nominally functional for a while, and sometimes I even got a lot done, but I still felt like I was barely holding on by my teeth.
I was fighting myself to get things done, forcing myself into things. Negative self-talk and ruminating thoughts plagued me. And it didn't look like things would ever get much better. Not for me.
The mental framework and practical techniques that I'd like to share with you weren't the only things that brought me out of that, but they were an important part of the mix, and I continue to use them on a daily basis to get through the many small and large parts of life.
For the past five years, I've been sharing them with my coaching clients, who consistently find them just as life-transforming, and I'm excited to share them with you.
You see, I'm Autistic and ADHD, and struggled with anxiety (and depression, and burnout, and medical stuff, and and and...) for decades.
At times it was so intense that I barely left my house for months or years at a time. The phone taunted me. Having one thing planned in a day (week) meant the whole day (week) was shot. I canceled at the last minute so often that I lost friends, and endangered relationships with others. Work took all my energy and thoughts, until it sapped my strength so much I couldn't work at all.
There were times where it wasn't that bad, where I managed to work or be nominally functional for a while, and sometimes I even got a lot done, but I still felt like I was barely holding on by my teeth.
I was fighting myself to get things done, forcing myself into things. Negative self-talk and ruminating thoughts plagued me. And it didn't look like things would ever get much better. Not for me.
The mental framework and practical techniques that I'd like to share with you weren't the only things that brought me out of that, but they were an important part of the mix, and I continue to use them on a daily basis to get through the many small and large parts of life.
For the past five years, I've been sharing them with my coaching clients, who consistently find them just as life-transforming, and I'm excited to share them with you.
A track record of success
I’ve taught this program live 20 times. (Not exaggerating.)
The first 18 times was to over 190 neurodivergent teenagers, with 100% 5-star reviews!
But people kept asking me to offer a version for adults, so that’s what I’ve done.
I offered this to Autistic and ND adults in 2023 and 2024, and got very positive feedback! (The testimonials on this page are all from these participants.)
This will be the third time I’m offering the adult version live, and every time I tweak a few things to make it even better, so you get even more benefit.
The first 18 times was to over 190 neurodivergent teenagers, with 100% 5-star reviews!
But people kept asking me to offer a version for adults, so that’s what I’ve done.
I offered this to Autistic and ND adults in 2023 and 2024, and got very positive feedback! (The testimonials on this page are all from these participants.)
This will be the third time I’m offering the adult version live, and every time I tweak a few things to make it even better, so you get even more benefit.
"Today's meeting, by the way, was really helpful and healing. 😌
Thank you so much for creating this course, and for sharing your experiences - I deeply appreciate it, and I am sure the same can be said for many others in the course."
Thank you so much for creating this course, and for sharing your experiences - I deeply appreciate it, and I am sure the same can be said for many others in the course."
A.H.
What's in this course?
I'm the kind of person who needs to understand why something works.
So, over a few years, as I was coaching and teaching these techniques to my clients, and seeing the very real results in their lives, I thought through what made this stuff so powerful. And I think I've distilled the essence of it, which has become the framework I would love to share with you.
If you're also the kind of person who wants to understand why, as well as get practical tips that actually work for an Autistic/AuDHD brain, this might be a good fit for you. (These explanations are part of the reason I get such great reviews.)
Over four weeks, I'll be sharing this framework: the why.
I’ve also pulled together the most important, most consistently useful techniques that put that theory into practice.
And the how. How to put this into practice in real life.
I’ve pulled together the most important, most consistently useful techniques that put that theory into practice.
So, over a few years, as I was coaching and teaching these techniques to my clients, and seeing the very real results in their lives, I thought through what made this stuff so powerful. And I think I've distilled the essence of it, which has become the framework I would love to share with you.
If you're also the kind of person who wants to understand why, as well as get practical tips that actually work for an Autistic/AuDHD brain, this might be a good fit for you. (These explanations are part of the reason I get such great reviews.)
Over four weeks, I'll be sharing this framework: the why.
I’ve also pulled together the most important, most consistently useful techniques that put that theory into practice.
And the how. How to put this into practice in real life.
I’ve pulled together the most important, most consistently useful techniques that put that theory into practice.
There are 8 practical techniques built into the course, but I often throw in a few others here and there, depending on people's questions, so you'll probably end up with more than promised. ;)
They're not all going to appeal to you. And it's neither a personal failure, nor a flaw in the curriculum, if they don't all work for you.
I'm trying to provide a wide enough variety so that at least one or two will resonate with everyone.
Because if even one or two are helpful, and you use them, even inconsistently, it can make a big difference over time.
They're not all going to appeal to you. And it's neither a personal failure, nor a flaw in the curriculum, if they don't all work for you.
I'm trying to provide a wide enough variety so that at least one or two will resonate with everyone.
Because if even one or two are helpful, and you use them, even inconsistently, it can make a big difference over time.
Does this seem like it would make a difference for you?
"I found the course very helpful and well worth the cost and time. I really love your teaching style and I really enjoyed the other participants too. And I don't normally say that about group things."
D.A.
What to expect in the meetings
Each meeting will start with a physical anti-anxiety technique, to help soothe our nervous systems so our brains can work better for the rest of the meeting.
Then we'll get into some theory, and then another technique to directly put that theory into practice.
I'll answer questions as we go, so you don't have to hold them to the end. To the extent that you want to share, I want to help you apply this to your specific situation.
We'll have a little time at the end for any last Q&A.
• No one will be put on the spot or asked to share anything they don't freely volunteer.
• My intention in this group setting is to practice these techniques with day-to-day frustrations, not the deep topics that are best reserved for therapy or 1:1 coaching. (It absolutely can be used for those, but it's better to practice with the smaller things and build up. Plus, this is a group setting and those topics can be triggering to others.)
• This course is intended to be a welcoming place for diverse learning and communication styles, and gender inclusive.
• You are welcome to participate with camera off or on, to communicate via chat or voice or listen quietly, to move around, stimm, tic, doodle, take notes, look away, and to request accommodations as needed.
• Live attendance is not required. You're welcome to treat this as an asynchronous course, watching the recordings later. A chat space for questions will be available on the course platform.
Then we'll get into some theory, and then another technique to directly put that theory into practice.
I'll answer questions as we go, so you don't have to hold them to the end. To the extent that you want to share, I want to help you apply this to your specific situation.
We'll have a little time at the end for any last Q&A.
• No one will be put on the spot or asked to share anything they don't freely volunteer.
• My intention in this group setting is to practice these techniques with day-to-day frustrations, not the deep topics that are best reserved for therapy or 1:1 coaching. (It absolutely can be used for those, but it's better to practice with the smaller things and build up. Plus, this is a group setting and those topics can be triggering to others.)
• This course is intended to be a welcoming place for diverse learning and communication styles, and gender inclusive.
• You are welcome to participate with camera off or on, to communicate via chat or voice or listen quietly, to move around, stimm, tic, doodle, take notes, look away, and to request accommodations as needed.
• Live attendance is not required. You're welcome to treat this as an asynchronous course, watching the recordings later. A chat space for questions will be available on the course platform.
Meeting one
Meeting two
Technique 1: “Name your story,” in which we title a cluster of painful thoughts like a story, to refer back to later like a work of fiction.
The theory: The 4 Categories of Human Experience. How to separate the practical pain from painful thoughts. Common pitfalls, and how to avoid them.
Technique 2, putting theory into practice: “The Observer,” in which we watch our worrying self and create an imaginary safe space for those worries to live.
Q&A: Applying this to your life.
The theory: The 4 Categories of Human Experience. How to separate the practical pain from painful thoughts. Common pitfalls, and how to avoid them.
Technique 2, putting theory into practice: “The Observer,” in which we watch our worrying self and create an imaginary safe space for those worries to live.
Q&A: Applying this to your life.
Meeting three
Technique 1, “Sensory Anchoring,” in which nearby neutral objects keep us in the present moment, away from the painful parts of the past and anxieties about the future.
The theory: More tips on how to find that painful thought.
Technique 2, putting theory into practice: “A Variety of Vocalizations,” in which we playfully take some of the pain out of that tired old thought by laughing at how silly it can sound.
Q&A: Applying this to your life.
The theory: More tips on how to find that painful thought.
Technique 2, putting theory into practice: “A Variety of Vocalizations,” in which we playfully take some of the pain out of that tired old thought by laughing at how silly it can sound.
Q&A: Applying this to your life.
Meeting four
Technique 1: "Open Focus," a way to get into a grounded state by readjusting our focus.
The theory: Curiosity as an antidote to anxiety.
Technique 2, putting theory into practice: "Getting Curious”, in which we question painful thoughts without judgment, in a search for the truth.
Recap: putting all the parts together in real scenarios.
Q&A: Applying this to your life.
The theory: Curiosity as an antidote to anxiety.
Technique 2, putting theory into practice: "Getting Curious”, in which we question painful thoughts without judgment, in a search for the truth.
Recap: putting all the parts together in real scenarios.
Q&A: Applying this to your life.
Is this what you've been looking for?
Learn how to master anxiety so it no longer masters you.
PLUS
Sign up by April 21st,
and get a bonus practice session to get extra live support applying this to your life.
The bonus session is on June 20th, same time.
"It's like, in a way you broke the ability of my anxiety to immediately take over the narrative. Because, is it weird to say, it's just too implausible? What it's trying to tell me? It's like, it'd be like, wait, what if this doesn't pan out? What if you don't get it? What if you're not doing enough? What if everyone else at your company gets the available jobs and there's no jobs available? And now you don't have it? Like, it's like, the anxiety is reaching, you know what I mean? And I know it's reaching. And so it's like, I don't even need to give it the attention. Because I'm like, 'bro, you're reaching.'"
N.S.
What you'll get
• 4 - 90 minute live classes.
• Approximately 40-50 minutes of that will be info dumping, with space for questions interspersed throughout.
• Approximately 40-50 minutes of that will be live Q&A, to help you apply this to your life.
• Recordings, transcripts, and the chat log of every meeting.
• Slides as PDFs for viewing or download.
• Online discussion space with the other course attendees (if that's your thing; completely okay if it's not).
• Printable handouts with a quick recap of each tool for easy reference.
• Worksheets to guide you through the entire framework of detangling and diffusing your own anxieties. Both online and printable versions.
• Approximately 40-50 minutes of that will be info dumping, with space for questions interspersed throughout.
• Approximately 40-50 minutes of that will be live Q&A, to help you apply this to your life.
• Recordings, transcripts, and the chat log of every meeting.
• Slides as PDFs for viewing or download.
• Online discussion space with the other course attendees (if that's your thing; completely okay if it's not).
• Printable handouts with a quick recap of each tool for easy reference.
• Worksheets to guide you through the entire framework of detangling and diffusing your own anxieties. Both online and printable versions.
You are welcome to do the entire course on your own if that works best for you, by watching/listening to/reading transcripts of the recordings. Or join us live to ask questions along the way.
Either way, you’ll get full access to all the resources, examples, worksheets, and more.
Either way, you’ll get full access to all the resources, examples, worksheets, and more.
"As always, I am so grateful for your transcripts. Still not everyone does these and they make it possible for me to catch up on material!"
J.Z.
When is it?
May 23 - June 13
Fridays, 90 Minutes each
Time zones:
12 PM PDT | 3 PM EDT | 9 PM BST | 10 PM CEST |
6 AM (Sat) AEST
What if I don't want to attend live?
Or can't make the time?
Or can't make the time?
No problem. You're welcome to treat this as an asynchronous/self-paced/on-demand course, with no judgment from me. (I get it. Sometimes I don't want to do live meetings, either.)
The recordings will be available the day after the live meetings. The transcripts sometimes take two or three days, because a human goes through the whole thing to correct machine mistakes.
You'll get:
Video recordings, audio recordings, transcripts with slides included, and chat logs of every meeting. Along with PDFs of the slides and all handouts, and any other bonus content I add.
The recordings will be available the day after the live meetings. The transcripts sometimes take two or three days, because a human goes through the whole thing to correct machine mistakes.
You'll get:
Video recordings, audio recordings, transcripts with slides included, and chat logs of every meeting. Along with PDFs of the slides and all handouts, and any other bonus content I add.
"I just want to say thank you for putting on this program, I was very glad when I found out you were running another session because I missed the one in the fall. I've gotten so much value out of it, and out of all your materials, so just thank you for everything you do to help our community!"
T.C.
How much is it?
Are you ready?
Is this the right time for you to get a handle on anxiety?
PLUS
Sign up by April 21st,
and get a bonus practice session to get extra live support applying this to your life.
The bonus session is on June 20th, same time.
Guarantee
My goal is for this to help you reduce your anxiety.
It'll take time and input on your part to work through the thoughts and fears that need to be worked through, and to practice putting this into practice in real situations, (and to remember to do so), but I truly believe that this will help.
But if it doesn't, I don't want you to be out the money.
So here's my promise to you:
It'll take time and input on your part to work through the thoughts and fears that need to be worked through, and to practice putting this into practice in real situations, (and to remember to do so), but I truly believe that this will help.
But if it doesn't, I don't want you to be out the money.
So here's my promise to you:
If you give this framework a fair try, try the techniques, implement what is presented in the meetings, find and question your painful thoughts, and don't notice any reduction in your anxiety within the four weeks of the course, let me know and I will refund your money in full.
"Dear Heather,
You asked for feedback. Thought it was fantastic. I'm ADHD, self ID autistic, and PDA. I am allergic to any form of manipulation. Such wonderful delivery.
The honesty. The generosity. A big wow. Such thought had gone into it - ability to be so clear when this is so complex.
So refreshing. Will listen again. Thanks a lot and take care."
You asked for feedback. Thought it was fantastic. I'm ADHD, self ID autistic, and PDA. I am allergic to any form of manipulation. Such wonderful delivery.
The honesty. The generosity. A big wow. Such thought had gone into it - ability to be so clear when this is so complex.
So refreshing. Will listen again. Thanks a lot and take care."
O.N.
Will you join me?
What could you do if anxiety didn't get in the way?
PLUS
Sign up by April 21st,
and get a bonus practice session to get extra live support applying this to your life.
The bonus session is on June 20th, same time.
Who this may be a good fit for:
• Autistic, AuDHD, and other neurodivergent individuals who struggle with anxious thoughts.
• If you're the kind of person who wants to understand why something works, and doesn't want BS answers.
• If you're willing to get curious about your fears and investigate what's really going on.
• If you want to get clear about what's underneath the worry or negative self-talk that you keep repeating to yourself (and others).
• If you want a trauma-sensitive space and facilitator.
• If you like the idea of working on this with other Autistics who aren't going to subtly gaslight you for thinking/reacting your natural way.
• If you self-identify as Autistic or AuDHD or are comfortable being around Autistics.
• If you're open to exploring different perspectives and trying something that may feel unfamiliar, as long as it rings true for you, in a supportive environment and with the explicit agreement that you can stop anytime or pick and choose what to try.
• If you're the kind of person who wants to understand why something works, and doesn't want BS answers.
• If you're willing to get curious about your fears and investigate what's really going on.
• If you want to get clear about what's underneath the worry or negative self-talk that you keep repeating to yourself (and others).
• If you want a trauma-sensitive space and facilitator.
• If you like the idea of working on this with other Autistics who aren't going to subtly gaslight you for thinking/reacting your natural way.
• If you self-identify as Autistic or AuDHD or are comfortable being around Autistics.
• If you're open to exploring different perspectives and trying something that may feel unfamiliar, as long as it rings true for you, in a supportive environment and with the explicit agreement that you can stop anytime or pick and choose what to try.
This will be a poor fit for you if:
• If you're overloaded right now and don't have the time or capacity to add one more thing. Even a good thing.
• If you fundamentally disagree with my philosophy as presented above, you're not going to have a good experience.
• I'm pretty sensitive to PDA, but if your demand avoidance is so intense that anything you even slightly disagree with triggers a strong backlash reaction, and such intense criticism that you zero in on that and can't take in anything else, this probably won't be a good fit at this time.
• If you're currently experiencing anxiety induced psychosis, or have a history of psychotic breaks that have not been adequately treated (by your own standards), this framework won't be useful until you take care of that first.
• If you absolutely cannot stand someone starting sentences with conjunctions. Because I do that a lot. ;) (I reject strict adherence to classical Latin grammar rules in modern English.)
• If you fundamentally disagree with my philosophy as presented above, you're not going to have a good experience.
• I'm pretty sensitive to PDA, but if your demand avoidance is so intense that anything you even slightly disagree with triggers a strong backlash reaction, and such intense criticism that you zero in on that and can't take in anything else, this probably won't be a good fit at this time.
• If you're currently experiencing anxiety induced psychosis, or have a history of psychotic breaks that have not been adequately treated (by your own standards), this framework won't be useful until you take care of that first.
• If you absolutely cannot stand someone starting sentences with conjunctions. Because I do that a lot. ;) (I reject strict adherence to classical Latin grammar rules in modern English.)
"I really appreciated the grounding exercises to reduce anxiety at the beginning of each session, because I was anxious about starting the workshop."
K.N.
Is this a good fit for you?
Are you ready to take control of anxiety?
PLUS
Sign up by April 21st,
and get a bonus practice session to get extra live support applying this to your life.
The bonus session is on June 20th, same time.
FAQs
About me
Heather Cook
I partner with later identified Autistics and AuDHDers to break through a lifetime of neurotypical expectations, figure out who they are without the mask, build healthier relationships that feel good to their Autistic communication style, and recover from burnout. To create a life they love to live.
Patrick Jones - Course author
Copyright © 2025